Originally published via Armageddon Prose Substack:
I’ve seen teenage runaway minimum-wage workers at McDonald’s with twelve nose rings and tribal face tattoos perform better at their jobs than admitted diversity hire Karine Jean-Pierre.
Related: KJP vs. English: White House Diversity Hire’s Reading Problem
But her total incompetence, of course, didn’t stop Vogue from going full-service on her taint, reaching that tongue deep into the recesses of her moist anus like only a lover can while tenderly massaging her brave and stunning clitoris in circular fashion.
I predicted before having read the article that:
a.) There would be no substantive criticism of the woman, which is verboten both on account of her race/class/sexuality/immigrant status and her position within the Biden regime and:
b.) Any criticism from elsewhere referenced, however fleetingly, in the article from her colleagues or the media would be dismissed as racist, sexist, queerphobic, or all three.
Let’s see how accurate my crystal ball is.
Here we go.
Via Vogue:
“ In 2020 [KJP] joined the Biden campaign as a senior adviser and later became Harris’s chief of staff. About a year and a half into the Biden presidency, she was introduced as the White House press secretary — the first Black person and first openly gay person to hold the position…
Jean-Pierre did get a lot of criticism, especially in the beginning. There were reportedly complaints from the press corps, who sniped about Jean-Pierre’s recitation of talking points and expressed genuine exasperation about her perceived* stonewalling on basic questions.”
*Note the obfuscating qualifier “perceived” stonewalling – not actual stonewalling.
Here is how KJP routinely fails to answer the stated question in any way whatsoever and instead retreats to the talking points her handlers coached her on before showtime, which she struggles to get out.
In her defense, though, it’s unclear how much of this is KJP knowingly stonewalling versus simply being too dumb to understand what she’s being asked.
Related: White House Revises Press Rules, Shields Karine Jean-Pierre From Hard Questions
Continuing:
“The alternate view is that Jean-Pierre can only say as much as the White House counsel allows her to. “I take none of it personally,” is all Jean-Pierre will tell me, when I ask her about the attacks on her credibility. “I’m representing the president, so petty is just not on the menu.” She adds (and reporters I speak to confirm) that she has developed good personal relationships with many correspondents—even those with whom she has “intense back-and-forths,” as she puts it…
Recently, a cabinet member texted Jean-Pierre. (She declines to say which.) This official had been getting pilloried in the press, and Jean-Pierre had offered a strong defense from the podium. “They reached out to me and thanked me,” she says. “I was like, ‘That’s nice. You’re welcome.’ ”
Who does that for her? Her team, she says. She has champions outside the White House too. When a group of Black women came to see Harris not long ago, one of them sought out Jean-Pierre to say that “there are millions of us who want you to succeed.”
There are of course also millions who do not**.”
**Subtext: millions of domestic terrorists.
Continuing:
“Fox News is obsessively covering a change in Jean-Pierre’s word choice regarding whether or not President Biden was involved with his son Hunter’s business dealings. Where once the line was that Biden had “never spoken” about foreign deals with Hunter, Jean-Pierre now tells reporters Hunter and his father were never “in business” together. Other reporters (like The New York Times’ Peter Baker) note the shift as well.
Jean-Pierre reminds me that she’s not speaking for herself at the podium. That’s as true when questions about Hunter arise as it is when she has to respond to geopolitical human rights issues that target LGBTQ+ communities. She cites Haiti’s descent into political chaos as an example of where she must hold her feelings back. It’s “one of the issues that’s toughest for me,” she says.
She knows that what she represents is part of why Biden chose her for this role***. But letting her own opinions slip into the record “is not what I signed up for,” she says. “I signed up to speak on behalf of this president. That’s why he selected me”…”
***Note again the weasely qualifier “part of why Biden chose her,” not “the literal entire stated reason why Biden’s handlers chose her.”
Continuing:
The film director Gina Prince-Bythewood, who met Jean-Pierre at an event honoring Black women across industries earlier this year, says she too is struck by Jean-Pierre’s grace: “When you’re the first, you need to do well for yourself, but you also have to do well for all those who want to come up after you. If you mess up, people judge a whole community based on your actions.”
Jean-Pierre gets at the same idea, obliquely. We’re talking about the criticism that has dogged Harris—whispers about staff turnover, a bedeviling policy portfolio. “It’s hard to be the first,” she says of her former boss. “There is always going to be criticism. You’re always going to be under a bigger microscope.”
“Men can get away with all kinds of personalities doing this job,” Fuchs tells me. “Most of them are crude and rude. Karine had to develop something different. And she did. She developed this steely personality with a big smile, and that’s her armor.”
Racism, sexism, homophobia: check, check, check.
Clap at her braveness and stunningness, bigot.
Ben Bartee, author of Broken English Teacher: Notes From Exile, is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.
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