Originally published via Armageddon Prose Substack:
A diverse pair of dolled-up CNN news actors recently dutifully read their script fed into the teleprompter by the unseen hand of the market, with straight faces of course, the substance of which was that McDonald’s, of all entities, is best positioned to save the world from climate change.
What CNN goes on to explain in its promotional video disguised as news is a practice known as regenerative farming, in which grazing animals are used to naturally fertilize the soil on a rotational basis, in much the same way they would do left to their own devices as migratory animals.
Regenerative farming, an excellent practice, was done for centuries before McDonald’s came along. Hopefully, assuming the corporate state at some point dies a painful death, it will continue without CNN or McDonald’s.
Yet regenerative farming is presented by CNN here as some kind of breakthrough innovation from the self-styled environmental stewards at the world’s foremost multinational fast food corporation.
Aside from regenerative farming not being new or unique to McDonald’s, how does this new narrative square with the relentless global climate change propaganda promoting the sacrifice of cows and other animals to the climate change gods?
If cows are permitted, it seems, to exist in the looming technocratic dystopia, they will be of the genetically modified, mRNA-injected, chimeric McDonald’s variety. Independent Dutch farmers, of course, will be denied such privileges. It’s zhe bugs for them! They’ll own nothing and be happy.
The schizophrenic gaslighting is unreal.
Somewhere though, a lobotomized NPC is nodding along in bovine agreement, awed by the innovation of McDonald’s.
The real question is: did McDonald’s pay for this spot directly or just through a massive ad buy with CNN?
Or is this just corporate hivemind in action, in which no active collusion is necessary because of course CNN reflexively approves of the McDonald’s ethos at all times, no matter what as a first principle?
For the record, McDonald’s proudly utilizes Bill Gates’ Franken-potatoes for its French fries – definitively not, in fact, produced using regenerative farming or any practice beneficial to the environment.
Frankly, though, I’m amazed that there is actually any source material in those products that’s yet grown in the Earth and not a dingy Chinese communist lab, so kudos for that at least.
As for McDonald’s riding in on a white horse to save the world from “climate change,” perhaps the CNN news actors would do right by reality to curb their enthusiasm – except that the checks might stop. Heaven knows non-captive CNN viewers (meaning viewers not subjected to CNN against their will in airports and waiting rooms), such as they exist in the real world, aren’t voluntarily paying money to support the network, so the news actors have to get paid somehow.
Ben Bartee, author of Broken English Teacher: Notes From Exile, is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.
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